Lorrie’s Blog

I have 3 of them, all sisters. I was raised in the most NON dysfunctional family in the country. I’m pretty close to my family and for me going home or being at home with them evokes very positive, anticipatory feelings. I know I am so fortunate in this regard.

You know how when you’re in a church and they start talking about Brother So-and-So or Sister Whoever? Well, I’ve probably heard that about a million times in my life and I always equated it with a generation of church-going people who were grey haired and talked in church voices. (You know, that really deep voice.) Well, somewhere recently I was reading something (a comment on someone’s blog, I think) and it referred to our brothers and sisters in Christ as siblings. I can’t tell you why, but that concept stirred me in a profound way. Siblings. You fight with them. They drive you crazy. They get in your business. They tell you things you should hear even if it makes you mad. You would cause physical harm to anyone who does something to hurt them. You are stuck with them for your whole life. You love them even though you don’t want anyone else to know. When I was growing up, I belonged to a church where my brothers and sisters in Christ felt like my siblings. I haven’t felt that way for a long time. Until recently.

My community is filled with my siblings. Over the last few weeks when we’ve been together I’ve looked around the room and been filled with delight at just being together. I love watching my kids and their kids develop close friendships. I love walking into the room where they all are and everyone is talking at the same time.

The lyrics of this song I heard recently describe it really well. These are just excerpts (taken completely out of context), but they made me think of my IndyChurch siblings.

If you knew how I wanted someone
To come along
And change my life the way you’ve done.

Feels like home to me.
Feels like I’m all the way back where I come from.
Feel like I’m all the way back where I belong.

I went back and looked at my blog recently and realized how long it’s been since I posted. How can time get away from me so quickly?

The truth is, I have nothing profound to say. Just a bunch of random thoughts bouncing around in my head. So I’ll share the random thoughts with you.

Work has been incredibly busy. I love it when it’s like that. I work very well under stress. It’s highly performance-enhancing for me. It gives me that old standing on the edge of the cliff, peeking over the edge sensation. However, when the stress abates, I’m very tired.

My son turned 13 on Sunday. I don’t remember much about turning 13 except that it was in the midst of the years during which I gave my parents a very hard time. Only 3 years until he’ll have his driver’s license. Only 5 years until he goes to college. He’s a cool kid. He had four friends spend the night this weekend. I loved sneaking out to the kitchen just to listen to their conversation. (The girls and I holed up in the bedroom on the opposite side of the house.) They crack me up.

I still hate to cry. I thought I had gotten to the point where I was kind of OK with it, but I was wrong. Someone I respect very much says, “It doesn’t matter what happens to you in life as long as you look good doing it.” I don’t know about you, but I don’t look good when I cry. I think we may be getting to the real reason I hate it so much. (Could I possibly be that shallow? Uh . . . yeah.)

Nicole said to me the other day, “I wish I could look into my life.” When I asked her what that meant, she said, “You know. I wish I knew what I was going to look like when I’m big.” Where does she come up with these things? How profound for a six year old.

I’m so proud of my mom who is willingly donating one of her kidneys to a friend. (That was a weird way to say that. As opposed to her being held at gunpoint and her kidney being demanded from her.) I’m also terrified. What if something happens? Time to dig out all those Bible verses about the faithfulness of God that I learned when I was a kid.

Less than a week until it’s time to start training for the mini marathon. I’m trying to work myself up to be excited about it. It’s so darn hard to be excited about exercising when it’s so darn cold outside. What I really want to do is just curl up with a blanket and sit on the couch.

I heard a great quote. It goes along with my focus recently on not comparing myself to other people. “It’s none of your business what other people think of you.” It reminds me of that other quote, “You would worry a lot less about what people think of you if you realized how infreqently they do.” What a great segue into a new year.