Perspective

Filed under: Uncategorized — lorrie at 5:24 pm on Thursday, September 30, 2004

Disclaimer: This is not a very happy post, so if you’re in a bad mood, you might not want to read it.

Depression, like Carl Sandburg’s fog, is creeping in on my life on little cat feet. It’s taken me awhile to figure out what it was that I was feeling. I’ve been walking around with this feeling of impending doom, like something wasn’t quite right, like I was forgetting something really important. Have you ever had a bad dream that was so real you couldn’t shake the bad feeling of it even after you were awake? That’s the feeling I’ve had.

I abhor feeling depressed and so I use every emotional tool in my arsenal to fight against it. But sometimes I have to acknowledge it. You know how when you feel like you’re going to faint and you can see the blackness closing in on you from the periphery of your vision? That’s how this feeling has been for me — not enough to make me pass out, but always right there on the periphery.

Here’s why I’m depressed — I’m feeling fat. Now some of you, when you read that, laughed, rolled your eyes and said, “Oh, brother!” But I’m not being funny. Perspective is a strange thing. See, the FEELING of not fitting into my clothes, not liking how I look, etc is the same for “thin” people as it is for everybody else. The emotion is the same for anyone having to move up a size, whether it’s from a 6 to an 8, or a 16 to an 18. It feels bad. It feels like failure. I feel like a tub of goo.

I feel sort of guilty being depressed about my weight. I have so many things in my life that I can be thankful for. And I have control over this — it’s something that is within my power to change. Here is the problem. I like to eat. I’m good at it. And I have been able, for the last 4 or so years, to be pretty undisciplined in this area of my life because I’ve been very disciplined about exercising. The problem lies in the fact that I haven’t been so disciplined about exercising since the marathon last year, but I haven’t changed my eating habits.

What would be really unhelpful right now is for someone to say, “Oh, Lorrie, you look fine!” If you said that to me, I’d smack you. At the same time, it would be unhelpful for someone to say, “You know, I’ve noticed you’ve put on a little weight.” Then I’d smack you and I’d cry. What I think I want is for my friends to kind of wallow in this with me (boy, is that an appropriate word for this situation). And maybe bring me ice cream. Oh wait, that wouldn’t be helpful either.

I’m trying to be thankful for little victories. On Saturday, I ran a 10 mile race. I was pretty happy that I could actually run the whole thing based on my lack of training. However, the delight in being able to do that was dampened by it being 8 minutes slower than the time I wanted.

Being depressed wears me out. Some people wear depression like a well-tailored suit, but it’s an awkward fit for me. It makes me feel far too vulnerable and exposed. It makes me feel like I’m whiny. It makes me emotional. I hate being emotional.

I’m sure that like Carl Sandburg’s fog cat, the depression will move on. And I’m sure there is some spiritual lesson that could be learned from this experience, but all my little fat cells are too depressed to figure it out.

6 Comments »

130

Comment by Teresa

October 1, 2004 @ 12:10 am

I’ve come to wallow for a bit with you. I’m struggling too. Eating, exercise, the whole nine yards. And God has been gracious in it all as the scale continues to decrease a little or hold its ground, and somehow that only makes me feel angry because I know I don’t deserve it. The truth is, I CAN’T do this by myself. I need you, and you need me, and we both need God to lean on. Make that CARRY us. Thanks for such honesty. (And I didn’t roll my eyes even once!)

131

Comment by jeff

October 3, 2004 @ 6:29 pm

I have no intelligent response for this, so I’m just typing words.

132

Comment by rhonda

October 4, 2004 @ 10:41 am

I’m feeling the cat too… only I think my problem is impatience. I have been exercising, eating less, eating healthy, taking care of myself, and still no change in the size of my pants. Yet, it’s a long road and I guess I shouldn’t think of it as temporary. Somehow, however, in my mind there seems to be an end, a prize, and when I achieve it, it feels like I’ll be able to quit exercising, start eating all my favorite “bad” foods again, and not worry about gaining an ounce. But, I know it isn’t true. How do I make the turn into a lifelong healthy committment? Why does this plague me so?

I’m sure there are many spiritual lessons in there somewhere as well.

133

Comment by bill

October 4, 2004 @ 11:06 am

Let’s go to a pizza buffet.

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Comment by Neil

October 8, 2004 @ 4:25 pm

Lorrie, i dont often look at blogs, but I was going down the million and half Favorites Jennie has looking for the 3 I have on the list. I saw your and Matt’s blogs and was drawn to check them out.

I was surprised to see you so down. I have always had this impression (my perception) of you as a rock, steady, confident in all things. Especially considering the incredible discipline you’ve shown in your training over the last few years. I’m not sure you know this, but you have been an inspiration to me in that manner.
I also have considered you and Matt as two of my all time favorite people. You both are intelligent, energetic, caring people. Jen and I are so appreciative you’ve made time and spent your hard earned dollars to come and see us during our comings and goings the last decade. I can certainly relate in that I too never feel totally satisified with my own appearance–never eating how I want, never exercising how I “should”, etc etc etc. I’m sure there is some deep, emotional reason related to my childhood, but at my age, I just don’t feel like drumming at that up sometimes. I have no answers other than maybe thats just a personality trait that I’ll have to live with and do the best I can each day.

One thing I would like you to know is you are a wonderful, beautiful person. I’ve known that since I met you (and Sherrie, and Wendie) 16 years ago. But its always been the inner beauty, the warmness you’ve shown that counts to me.

Your brother in law,

Neil

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Comment by Mom

December 2, 2004 @ 11:47 am

I rarely have time to check out your blog, but this one sure caught my attention. I didn’t roll my eyes, but my brain clicked into “huh-uh! You are NOT fat!”, but after reading the rest of it, I totally relate (not agree, just relate). I have been exercising six days a week for 1 1/2 hrs. a day, fitness, weights, walking, etc. for three years. And your dad and I are on a healthy eating plan. Have I reached my goal? Oh no. That last 20 pounds won’t budge, and I struggle just maintaining where I am now. I feel like you were when you wrote this. But I decided to claim Matt. 6:33 and trust the Lord to add (well, I prefer “subract”) all these things if I seek Him first. Thanks for sharing your feelings honestly. I understand more than you realize.
Mom

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